A Sense of Self-Worth

Listen to other women talk and it will astound you how often you'll hear women say things that doubt their self-worth. It's no suprise really. The idea that women have little worth is all around us from the day we are born.

It's in the stories we are read as children, the media advertising we're exposed to, the toy aisles we shop in, the attitudes of our teachers and our families.

Think about it.....what's wrong with a story about a child whose step mother tries to have her murdered. The man who is to end her life decides to let her live and instead abandons her in the forest. She wanders until she comes across a miners house. They take pity on her and so she becomes a servant to seven men. The step mother gets her anyway using poison. But it's okay, another man finds her body in the forest and decides to snog it. A little odd but by sheer chance it brings her around because she wasn't really dead. Overjoyed at finally being saved by a fella, she jumps on his horse and takes off with him - apparently living happily ever after but nobody really knows because she was never seen again. Hmmm.

That, my friends, is the story of Snow White. That is the kind of role model we have as very young suggestable children. Her...and Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.....to name the most familiar. Have you ever wondered where on earth we get the idea that everything will be alright after we are married? Well there it is......and they lived happily ever after.

Media advertising is a fascinating beast too. We are exposed to an average of 60 messages a day that tell us we need to be something most of us can never be. The diet industry makes 33 billion dollars a year telling us our bodies are wrong and we have to change them. They use women who only 8 percent of us can ever be like and airbrush their features to make them inhumanly perfect. We spend our lives trying to match something that isn't humanly possible at all.

Take a walk down the girls toy ailse in your local department store. The place looks like a pink dye pack went off in there. Where is it written that pink is the only colour suitable for little girls? And do you ever wonder if they make blue vacuum cleaners with racing stripes for boys? I even found a childrens version of a proffesional mop and bucket in our local aisle. Cleaning gear and baby dolls for miles with all the accessories to mold your child into being the perfect little mother at 2. There is very little in a girls toy aisle to inspire little girls to be anything but Mothers. Certainly there's nothing wrong with being inspired to be a Mother - after all it's the most important job in all the world BUT surely other avenues should be available for exploration.

At school, how many strong women are we encouraged to role model? If you're lucky, you might learn about Helen Keller or Rosa Parks but there generally there are very few positive strong female role models presented to us within the school environment.

And last but by no means least, if you're reading this...chances are the attitudes towards women that you've grown up with where somewhat less than perfect too. Chances are Dad was either never there, didn't have time for you, beat the crap out of you or all of the above - or worse. Guess what little girls with lousy fathers spend their lives doing........they become psychologically attracted to men who're just like their fathers and spend all their efforts trying to 'change his mind'. In other words....we are continually trying to change the attitude that a certain personality type has towards us.

Our sense of self worth is shattered before we've even gotten to puberty. Does anyone ever to understand their true sense of self-worth? It's no easy journey if you don't know it (and there are people who do) but it is very possible and everybody deserves to know their true sense of self-worth because it's immense and beautiful.

First it helps to understand that no matter what has been done to you, no matter who had what to say, no matter how difficult life has been - IT DOES NOT HAVE TO DEFINE YOU. You are who you choose to be.

Secondly, when life has not been so kind we are inclinded to react to it with emotional tools we learnt at an early age. You know that you are an adult now but you've not stepped up to take the advantages that go with it. At this point in time, as an adult - YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE CONTROL. You've just got to realise it's there and over-ride the fear of walking outside your comfort zone and you beat that by focussing on what you really want.

So.....who are you and what do you really want?

While you're thinking about that here's something else we all need to understand......YOU ARE COMPLETELY UNIQUE TO THE UNIVERSE. Every breath, every thought, every heartbeat is completely unique to you. Even the birth for identical twins is a unique experience for each one. You are the only one in the universe with your thoughts formed with your perceptions. This moment that you are experiencing with the way you see the world....is completely unique and will never be again. Regardless of what your spiritual beliefs are.....there has got to be a reason for something that unique.

We also need to understand that if our sense of self-worth is low, then the emotional tools we are using are not working well for us so....read and research. Go looking for ideas on what other people do. At the very least talk to someone you trust and have a look at how they deal with issues like this.

Here's a great article on rebuilding a good sense of self-worth....


Good luck and safe journey!
May you walk through the world and know its beauty.